Spoilers

Well, one spoiler.

Spoilers, spoilers, spoilers

After the cut so as not to, you know, spoil anything.

Mini recap ep7, Hollywood Forever

I didn’t really want to watch this episode, because not only was it Kelly and Brenda-free, the writers went out of their way last episode to create contrived and unrealistic resolutions to all of the actual drama on the show.

In this episode: Annie’s acting declines still further, if possible; another bitchy girl shows up and has wildly inappropriate conversations with Teacher, who seems to have lost every razor he ever owned; Naomi makes a meaningless and counter-productive sacrifice for Pillface which causes trouble that even Daddy can’t solve; there’s some bullshit with the parents that I didn’t care about; and Navid and Jessica Walter are permitted to show up briefly. Oh, and Pillface might be dead, which would totally ruin the show because bitchy girl is actually an undercover cop and not a real bitch.

God, I hope this show gets better.

Wishlist for tonight

More Pillface. Lots of Pillface. Pillface on scheming rampage of evil and lies. Less redeeming of Pillface by having her mother put unbearable pressure on her. Pillface for Pillface’s sake!

Dixon has some room to do something bad, too. He’s working, doing tech for the school musical, playing lacrosse, getting good grades, and worrying about his parents. What if he, like, punched someone in the face?

Naomi should be either bitchy or invisible.

Tabitha should be slightly drunk and tell embarassing stories about her past in an effort to get the kids to understand how things really are. I will permit an embarassed reaction shot from Mama and Papa, but that should be the extent of their involvement in this episode. Ideally, Tabitha would get sloshed and help Pillface enact some scheming evil plan.

Annie should be so sad about what happened with Ty that she just takes the whole week off and doesn’t show up at all.

And maybe, just for old times sake, Brenda and Kelly could fight over a guy? Or two??

90210 v Gossip Girl

Annalynne McCord spoke out on the comparisons between 90210 and GG:

AnnaLynne McCord, also addressed rumors of a clothing war between 90210 and Gossip Girl.
“We beat the makeup by far, I’ll tell ya that! But oh my god, Leighton [Meester] – I love her. She rocks that show.”

Oh DEAR. First of all, there’s no clothing war. That would not be a David & Goliath matchup, that would be the Mount Everest of Gossip Girl crushing the tiny ant that is 90210. Gossip Girl is fashion. 90210 is cheap shit teenage girls buy in the mall with their allowance money.

Second, let’s see why Leighton rocks so hard on that show. She’s an amazing actress, yes. But Blair’s character rocks that show and Blair rocks New York City. Why? Because she is an evil scheming bitch. She knows what she wants and she will stop at absolutely nothing to get it, no matter who or what is in her way. You know who is not at all like that in any way? Naomi. She’s friendly to crying Annie and hurts on her inside because of her family. That is not evil. That is not scheming. That is not bitchy. GET ON IT.

90210 ep 5: Wide Awake and Dreaming

Full recap within…

Potential spoiler

Behind the cut.

90210 ep 4: The Bubble

In this episode: Dylan is the daddy; Brenda looks great; Jessica Walter out-acts everyone; and the children make halting progress in their relationships.

Worst Naomi Outfit Ever?

So this is from last week, the “Lucky Strike” episode, rather than the one that aired last night. But this outfit was so blindingly bad I’ve been dying to put up pictures so we can all point and laugh. And here are the pictures! Complete with “facial” “expressions” meant to convey “emotion” through “acting”! Truly stunning.

90210 ep 3: Lucky Strike

in this episode: Wilson family demonstrates their strong midwestern values to the envy of hollywood folk; Jessie Spano’s inner pain is revealed before we even have established her as a megabitch; Silver is a wuss and can’t handle some mild Jackie Taylor behavior; and Brenda doesn’t even show up.

Full recap after the jump…