Recap, Model Behavior, ep6

Yeah, this is waaay late. Sorry. My Tivo didn’t record right and I had to get the episode from iTunes and then I had to go out of town and blah. Anyway, here it is.

In this episode: Annie continues to inspire homicidal feelings in the viewing audience, Kelly and Brenda almost have a like-the-old-days fight, there’s way too much boring parents time, Navid shows back up from wherever he’s been, and Pillface graduates to the big leagues THANK GOD. Full recap behind the cut…

90210 ep 5: Wide Awake and Dreaming

Full recap within…

Potential spoiler

Behind the cut.

90210 ep 4: The Bubble

In this episode: Dylan is the daddy; Brenda looks great; Jessica Walter out-acts everyone; and the children make halting progress in their relationships.

Silver is the new Dylan?

In a recent interview with Jessica Stroup, she was asked how her character compared to the characters from the original show. Her reply was quite interesting:

What character from the old show does she correspond to?
Luke Perry [Dylan]. He was a rebel and independent, but he also was tied into the group as a whole and was a huge vital part. I like the idea that, 20 years later, it’s the girl who’s the Luke Perry type. The strong, cool, do-what-she-wants-to-do type girl. It’s girl power.

Well, kind of. Dylan was certainly a rebel and independent. He surfed and had a vintage car and didn’t care about college or typical markers of success and had a raging alcohol and drug problem. And oh yeah, all of that was to cover up his broken heart from having to make his own way in the world and not having any real adult guidance or support and so lashing out against the world. I wouldn’t call him that powerful. And I’m not sure it really would say that much for feminism and “girl power” were Silver’s character really his equivalent.

However, I don’t think Silver is much like Dylan at all. She hasn’t really shown anything out of the ordinary – she has problems with her mom, sure, but her most intense rebellion is that she has a blog! And we all know bloggers are totally intense independent rebels. (I sure am.) Until she stirs up some serious shit – taking Dixon to Mexico, throwing flowerpots at Brenda in the street, skipping her SATs – I don’t find her very Dylan-like at all.

Dylan is a daddy, confirmed

Well Dylan for sure is the father of Kelly’s tow-headed child. But cannot be present doing his need to travel the globe doing charity work of a conspicuously unspecified nature. There is clearly a lot to discuss here, including the matter of what Luke Perry’s face currently looks like. Full exploration of the topic in the reacp coming soon…

Dylan = babydaddy?

Defamer is reporting that a Canadian ad for Tuesday’s episode, which will reveal the identity of the father of Kelly’s child, may have accidentally given away the secret.

The ad showing in Canada contains a shot in which “Brenda yells at Kelly, “You still love Dylan.”" Hardly conclusive proof, but it wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense for the show to bring up Kelly’s love for Dylan and then have the kid be Brandon’s. (I mean, Kelly was an indecisive slut back in the day, but the new show seems invested in showing her as perfect-Kelly from the latter years of BH90210.)

Of course, as Defamer notes, Kelly may cooly reply “”Au contraire, Brenda: I still love Steve Sanders, provided that Ian Ziering is available to shoot a three-episode arc during May sweeps.” So we’ll just have to wait.

Let’s talk about Kelly’s babydaddy

Word on the street is that in the upcoming episode, Kelly reveals who the father of her child is. Given what we know already – we’ve seen the child and we know the father is someone with whom she had history in high school – let’s consider the various options.

BH90210 moment #1

Kelly Steals Brenda’s One True Love, That Bitch

So Brenda and Dylan were SO PERFECT TOGETHER and they were totally in love and not at all stupid teenagers by any stretch of the imagination. And they were doing stuff like running to Mexico for a vacation without telling the Walshes and then Brenda thought she might be pregnant and Jim found the pregnancy test and was all “my little girl is all growed up I can’t handle it” and then they started being all mean to Dylan just because his dad was a multiple felon and he had a drinking problem or something (the kind of guy that seemed way appealling back then, all troubled and stuff, but who now i wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole). So Jim couldn’t handle it anymore and told Brenda to stop seeing him and she said she would but then who did they see together at the Beverly Hills Beach Club? That’s right – Brenda and Dylan together and KISSING. That lying bitch. So Jim and Cindy decided there was nothing left to do but to send Brenda off to Paris for the summer so she couldn’t be with Dylan at all. And Kelly was supposed to go too but at the last minute decided to stay home because Jackie had just had Erin and Kelly wanted to help with the baby (perhaps to make sure she didn’t mutate into a brunette psycho-blogger as a teenager?)

So Kelly and Dylan are both stuck in town for the summer and start hanging out all the time and Kelly’s wispy blonde hair and baby voice prove irresistible and suddenly SHE AND DYLAN ARE KISSING IN THE POOL OF THE BEL AGE HOTEL while she’s wearing this one-piece black swimsuit with white blanket stitching on the straps (I did not even have to look that up I totally remember it). OHMIGOD what about Brenda?!? How could they do this to her? This, to me, was as serious a betrayal as I’d even encountered and made me pissy at Kelly for years, especially when she later chose her instead of Dylan. At any rate, Brenda was mostly ok because she had hooked up with Dean Cain of all people while she was in Paris so everyone all broke up but it provided drama for like the next three seasons.

BH90210 moment #2

Dylan’s Dad Gets Blown Up

Dylan’s dad was always mysteriously in jail for some white-collar crime that was supposed to make him criminal enough for Jim Walsh to dislike him but not so bad that we didn’t still love him. He got out of jail and was living in a boat (what is it with 90210 people living on boats? I have lived in LA for 10 years and have yet to meet a single person living on a boat.) and Dylan came to live with him and everything was so fun! And they got to sing take me out to the ballgame together! Which was touching and not at all pedophilic! And then that fateful day Dylan was going to go get the car so they could go somewhere on dry land but at the last second Kelly called and Dylan went back inside and his dad went to go start the car and IT EXPLODED IN A FIREY FIREBALL. So Dylan runs outside and drops to his knees on the asphalt and starts screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” in a not at all over the top or overdramatic way. My friends and I used to have contests to recreate his wailing and see who could get closest to his ridiculousness which now means whenever I see this scene I burst out laughing. (Which is ok because we learned years later that his dad wasn’t blown up but was just taken into FBI protective custody or some crap.) This scene taught me the proper way to respond to emotionally traumatic events with style and grace.