SUCK. Jessica Walter leaving.

This super sucks. All the characters I love the best (ok, the only characters I can tolerate without wigging out in sucky-acting induced rage) are disappearing. First Shannen Doherty leaves and then will only come back for 2 episodes, and now Jessica Walter, the incomparable Tabitha, has not renewed her contract and will be appearing only sporadically.

This probably isn’t a secret trick to start a spinoff starring Brenda and Tabitha as drunk bitches on the run, right? Because that would RULE.

Brenda will be back!!

Thank heavens, Shannen Doherty has signed something to appear on 2 additional episodes. This is good, but insufficient. She needs to sign something promising to appear in any future episode of 90210 ever shot because frankly, none of the new characters are interesting and the only thrill is getting to see Brenda’s progression. I guess 2 episodes is better than nothing…

Mini recap ep7, Hollywood Forever

I didn’t really want to watch this episode, because not only was it Kelly and Brenda-free, the writers went out of their way last episode to create contrived and unrealistic resolutions to all of the actual drama on the show.

In this episode: Annie’s acting declines still further, if possible; another bitchy girl shows up and has wildly inappropriate conversations with Teacher, who seems to have lost every razor he ever owned; Naomi makes a meaningless and counter-productive sacrifice for Pillface which causes trouble that even Daddy can’t solve; there’s some bullshit with the parents that I didn’t care about; and Navid and Jessica Walter are permitted to show up briefly. Oh, and Pillface might be dead, which would totally ruin the show because bitchy girl is actually an undercover cop and not a real bitch.

God, I hope this show gets better.

Old cast members coming back!

Well, probably. Well, kind of.

Jason Priestly is coming back – to direct. Which he did both before and after his character left BH90210, so I don’t see why he couldn’t just get in front of the camera and act like Brandon again. I mean really. If you’re going to be on set, what is preventing you from actually being on the show?!

In better news, Shannen Doherty is in talks to appear in a few more episodes. We’re still not talking series regular, but I’ll take any more Brenda that I can get.

Recap, Model Behavior, ep6

Yeah, this is waaay late. Sorry. My Tivo didn’t record right and I had to get the episode from iTunes and then I had to go out of town and blah. Anyway, here it is.

In this episode: Annie continues to inspire homicidal feelings in the viewing audience, Kelly and Brenda almost have a like-the-old-days fight, there’s way too much boring parents time, Navid shows back up from wherever he’s been, and Pillface graduates to the big leagues THANK GOD. Full recap behind the cut…

Wishlist for tonight

More Pillface. Lots of Pillface. Pillface on scheming rampage of evil and lies. Less redeeming of Pillface by having her mother put unbearable pressure on her. Pillface for Pillface’s sake!

Dixon has some room to do something bad, too. He’s working, doing tech for the school musical, playing lacrosse, getting good grades, and worrying about his parents. What if he, like, punched someone in the face?

Naomi should be either bitchy or invisible.

Tabitha should be slightly drunk and tell embarassing stories about her past in an effort to get the kids to understand how things really are. I will permit an embarassed reaction shot from Mama and Papa, but that should be the extent of their involvement in this episode. Ideally, Tabitha would get sloshed and help Pillface enact some scheming evil plan.

Annie should be so sad about what happened with Ty that she just takes the whole week off and doesn’t show up at all.

And maybe, just for old times sake, Brenda and Kelly could fight over a guy? Or two??

90210 ep 5: Wide Awake and Dreaming

Full recap within…

90210 ep 4: The Bubble

In this episode: Dylan is the daddy; Brenda looks great; Jessica Walter out-acts everyone; and the children make halting progress in their relationships.

Dylan = babydaddy?

Defamer is reporting that a Canadian ad for Tuesday’s episode, which will reveal the identity of the father of Kelly’s child, may have accidentally given away the secret.

The ad showing in Canada contains a shot in which “Brenda yells at Kelly, “You still love Dylan.”" Hardly conclusive proof, but it wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense for the show to bring up Kelly’s love for Dylan and then have the kid be Brandon’s. (I mean, Kelly was an indecisive slut back in the day, but the new show seems invested in showing her as perfect-Kelly from the latter years of BH90210.)

Of course, as Defamer notes, Kelly may cooly reply “”Au contraire, Brenda: I still love Steve Sanders, provided that Ian Ziering is available to shoot a three-episode arc during May sweeps.” So we’ll just have to wait.

Shannen still sucks

Would anyone know who Shannen Doherty was if she hadn’t been on 90210? She’d done a little bit of Little House on the Prairie and Our House, but wasn’t anything close to being a star when she got cast on the original show. Everything she’s done since then was based on her 90210 fame, including her stint on Charmed. So why can’t she just get it together to stay on the new 90210???

Well, she can’t. Per EW, she signed on for only 4 episodes – and yes, the 5 minutes of screen time she had in ep 2 counts as one of those episodes – and will not sign on to any more. Jenny Garth originally was signed to do 6 episodes and just signed to do at least 5 in addition to the original 6. Shannen, although she’s apparently been asked by the producers to sign on for additional episodes, “couldn’t commit to more” because she’s “in the middle of pitching a show.”

WHAT POSSIBLE SHOW. How to use bangs to camoflauge a wonky eye? How to alienate fellow cast members and producers? A retrospective of the unfortunate men she’s been with? THERE IS NO SHOW THAT COULD BE MORE ADVANTAGEOUS TO HER THAN THIS ONE.

There is a possibility that it’s because she doesn’t seem to be all that popular on the current set, especially with Ms. Goody Goody Shenae, who I am starting to dislike almost as much as I do her character. A source told the National Enquirer that ““(Shenae) actually referred to Shannen as an ‘effin bitch’ and said from the first moment Shannen walked onto the set she’s been acting like she’s special. Shenae was saying that Shannen talks down to the costume designers and caterers like they’re her servants and prances around the set like she’s Hollywood royalty.”

First of all, Shannen should pop that girl right in the mouth. Shannen IS special. Second of all, shape up, Shannen, and stop making me agree with this awful Shenae girl. This is your best shot. Get with it.