Old cast members coming back!

Well, probably. Well, kind of.

Jason Priestly is coming back – to direct. Which he did both before and after his character left BH90210, so I don’t see why he couldn’t just get in front of the camera and act like Brandon again. I mean really. If you’re going to be on set, what is preventing you from actually being on the show?!

In better news, Shannen Doherty is in talks to appear in a few more episodes. We’re still not talking series regular, but I’ll take any more Brenda that I can get.

Maybe this is why Brandon isn’t the daddy

Have you seen Jason Priestly lately? He looks like he’s been living out in a cabin in the woods with no electricity and heated only by burning moose fat while he writes his manifesto on paper made from tree bark. Come back to civilization and shave your face, Jason.

Let’s talk about Kelly’s babydaddy

Word on the street is that in the upcoming episode, Kelly reveals who the father of her child is. Given what we know already – we’ve seen the child and we know the father is someone with whom she had history in high school – let’s consider the various options.

BH90210 moment #4

Kelly Chooses Her

For some reason, both Brandon and Dylan are head over heels in luv with Kelly, even though she treats both of them poorly and doesn’t really do anything. This had been building for an entire season, she’s dating Brandon but Dylan is clearly still hung up on her. And Brandon goes and buys an engagement ring and asks her to marry him and then Dylan gives her a plane ticket and asks her to go around the world with him. And then there’s all this “what is she going to do they are both such wonderful men (except Brandon who is a sanctimonious tool but therefore perfect for Kelly)” and then she goes and rejects them both. I mean, “chooses her.” Which sounded stupid even the first time she said it, and then to have that become an ongoing pop culture concept, choosing oneself, is just outrageous. But it did make for a dramatic plot twist, I guess.

BH90210 moment #7

Emily Valentine and the Homecoming Float

Emily didn’t show up until second season, but as soon as she got on the scene, Brandon was all googly for her. Which of course made Ahhhhhhndrea super jealous, which of course added to the appeal. Emily was all wild and stuff and she wanted to show Brandon what actual fun was, so she took him to an underground rave and gave him drugs without telling him (because that’s what cool girlfriends do) and they couldn’t call it ecstasy for unclear reasons so they were all tripped out on euphoria, which actually sounds quite pleasant. Brandon, despite his drunk driving and burgeoning gambling habit, goes all psycho at Emily and won’t see her anymore and Emily for again, unclear reasons, is so hung up on Brandon that she slashes her own tires to get him to come over and stalks him and blah, like his shelf hair is worth pining after. Brandon is in moralistic mode instead of self-destruct mode (he only has 2 modes) so is impervious to her efforts to win her back and she FREAKS OUT and is all I’m going to be alone forever and I can’t hang out with the gang anymore oh no and pours gasoline all over the homecoming float they built. That’s the end of her for this round, but she shows up several seasons later and Brandon pines for her off and on and her hair gets a lot better later on.

BH90210 moment #9

The Guardian Angel and the School Bus

Ohmigod you guys this was the best concept episode ever. So it starts with the kids on a bus going to the Alvarado Street School for their yearly do-good-works event. (Note: when you move to LA after having watched lots of 90210 and someone mentions Alvarado Street, do not ask if it’s the same as the one in 90210. Although poor people do live over by Alvarado.) This is when all the kids are hating each other – Brandon and Ahhhhhhndrea have some stupid shit that nobody cares about, Brenda Kelly and Dylan are in their perpetual triangle, Steve is on thin ice at school after the legacy key problem, and David is all pissed that he’s an immature child and will be left behind when everyone graduates. But they do not know that their school bus will be hit by a garbage truck and they will ALL BE KILLED – unless of course the guardian angel in training can protect them! It is a nail-biting race to the end of the episode to see if everyone can get along again (they can) and the angel can avoid the accident (she does in a killer special effects move that makes it look like the truck magically passes through the bus). Everyone lives and an angel gets its wings!