90210 ep 4: The Bubble

In this episode: Dylan is the daddy; Brenda looks great; Jessica Walter out-acts everyone; and the children make halting progress in their relationships.

90210 – “The Bubble”

Air date 9.16.08

We open to establishing shots of LA over the dulcet tones of Rihanna’s “Disturbia.” Do you think this show has a theme of showing that beautiful shiny things aren’t all that they seem? Subtle. We then dive straight into plot development, as dad is telling Annie that the drama teacher is gone. Grandmother Tabitha immediately volunteers to take over so the show can continue. Jessica Walter’s scheming face is great. Annie’s face of dismay and concern, not so great.

Dixon, wearing a Fred Perry shirt that looks like a cross section of a box of crayons, hears mom and dad discussing the inability to sell the house in Kansas (the Witchita real estate market is apparently not so hot). He then proceeds to knock off the side mirror of a Porsche in the school parking lot – to avoid telling his parents, he agrees to settle it privately with the Porsche-owning student. It’s unclear here whether Dixon is trying to stay out of trouble by hiding the accident, or trying to protect his parents from financial woe.

Naomi has some parental drama while wearing yet another hideous outfit that looks like it’s from Contempo Casuals: a black bustier with double white lacing paired with a denim pleated miniskirt. It looks cheap. No rich girl would ever wear this. Anyway, she’s so sad about her parents and her wardrobe that she cries to Ethan in the courtyard at school. Ethan takes pains to emphasize to Naomi that the two of them are definitely not back together. Naomi thinks its nice to chat anyway. Ethan then goes to flirt with Annie, confirms to her he’s not dating Naomi, and makes a plan to meet up at the Peach Pit on Thursday.

Teacher asks Kelly on a date to a new pizza place in Silverlake, like we get it, this show is set in LA, the title didn’t give that away at all. She has to work out a baby sitter and gives us a few facts about the kid’s father: he’s a “do-gooder” and does “charity work” “all around the world.” Oh yeah! That organization that does charity work of a totally vague and unspecified nature! I totally donate money to them because their work is so, um, do-gooding!

The best part of the entire show, though, happens when Kelly and Brenda are sitting in the cafeteria and Brenda says she can almost hear people shouting “Donna Martin graduates!” and Kelly said that now she’ll have the chant stuck in her head all day. As will I.

CREDITS.

At school, Ty runs into Annie, apologies for taking off from Lucky Strike in the last episode, and asks her to Vampire Weekend at the Avalon (wait, this show is in LA?) on Thursday. But alas, Annie has already made her Peach Pit date with Ethan for that night, so she declines. Ty asks enough intrusive follow up questions to be clear that Annie is declining so she can date some other guy and storms off. Well played, Annie. Did you learn nothing about dating in Kansas?

Naomi asks Silver not to blog about her family problems. Silver is wearing an amazing skirt but has ruined it with her really weird shirt. Silver blows Naomi off, Naomi is so very sad and alone. But you knew that already, because that is the sole aspect of her character that this show has explored in any way. SHE IS A POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL.

Rehearsal with Tabitha as director is like the best thing ever. She’s wearing this gorgeous yellow high-necked batwing top and looks amazing. She’s terrifying the girls with her awesome instructions about the subtext of that “Mama Who Made Me” song they insist on performing. Annie is so appalled she runs and insists to dad that he has to find another director. Dad is reluctant until Tabitha scolds him over the drama budget and the coffee on his tie, at which point he asks Kelly, conveniently wandering by, if she can find someone from the entertainment industry to help with the play.

Sure enough, next rehearsal, here shows up Brenda! She proceeds to kiss Tabitha’s ass for quite a while, including praising her performance as Hedda Gabler. Wonder how many of the kids are familiar with that reference. Brenda will assist. Brenda’s gold lame top is cut really weird and is not that flattering, but it’s clear that Brenda is being crafty and kissing up to get what she wants and that’s so very Brenda that I melt. I remember her flashing that smile!

Dixon, at the Peach Pit, is applying for a job with Nat! Hi Nat!! Nat seems well, although he does not explain how the diner morphed into a frou frou LA café. Dixon has no work experience and inexplicably fails to mention how his years running a corner gave him management skills.

Commercials

Now Silver and Annie are at the Pit. How come everyone’s here now all the time, but nobody ever mentioned it in previous episodes? Annie is thrilled about the date with Ethan but Silver cautions her not to get excited because Ethan will never be with anyone but Naomi because they are in some magic bubble together and insulated from the rest of the world. Annie is unperturbed. And then Dixon shows up as their waiter!

Annie asks Dixon why he’s working, pronouncing “working” as if it were morally equivalent to say, raping babies and making hats out of their skin. Annie sure has taken on Beverly Hills clothes, attitudes, and rapid weight loss in the 3 weeks she’s lived here. Dixon claims that he got a job because he’s “been messin’ up since” they moved here and he wants to take on responsibility. THE WHAT? He got in the fight at lacrosse practice and played the prank on the other school to fit in with the team. Otherwise, no problems. And yet he feels like he’s on such thin ice that he has to get a job so he doesn’t put financial strain on his parents. Meanwhile, Annie is double scheduling dates and flying to San Francisco on a jet – like an actual teenager would do. No teenager is as responsible as Dixon. Hell, I know thirtysomethings that aren’t as responsible as Dixon. I can’t help but think this is tied up with his race and his adoption status and I really hope the show gives him a chance to be, you know, normal, instead of holding him to this hyper-elevated and unrealistic standard of responsibility. Especially since there are no other characters of color on the show and no other white characters are being held to the same standard.

Anyway, Dixon goes home and tells his parents about the job, saying it’s because he wants nicer wheels so he can “roll in style.” Um, ok. But getting into the car culture and recognizing that a lot of one’s prestige in LA comes from the car one drives is an actually realistic note. They say working is ok as long as it doesn’t interfere with classes or lacrosse practice.

Naomi is going through more “what kind of life is this” with her parents. When dad gets in the shower, she uses his Blackberry (thank God John McCain made the Blackberry possible or how would we have gotten any plot advancement here??) to call the mistress and learns she works at a boutique in Beverly Hills. As we fade to commercial, I note that while Naomi’s still wearing that hideous outfit, her hair and nails look great. In fact, her hair looks consistently good throughout the episode – glad they got away from the crunchy curls of last week.

And we’re back from commercials – or are we, as Silver drives Dixon to work in a totally product-placed Saturn convertible. AS IF. Remember Kelly’s red BMW convertible? That’s what Jackie Taylor’s daughter would drive. Her big pink and black feather earrings help mitigate the problem though.

Naomi knocks on Ethan’s door and I miss half the scene because I cannot figure out if Ethan is living in Casa Walsh. Which I suppose he could be, as Brandon must have eventually sold it if he’s in Belize or wherever. It is a total joy to see this stupid house again. Ethan is home watching his brother, who is likely on the autistic spectrum, and I freak out because if the show cannot manage to dress Naomi in a coherent outfit, it certainly cannot handle autism with sensitivity. Naomi, despite her terrifying clothes, manages to calm down autistic brother, showing Ethan what a part of his life and his family she really is. Aww. Naomi asks Ethan to go with her to confront daddy’s mistress, because she wants to put a stop to this before her family “ends up like Silver and her mom,” and he agrees.

Over at rehearsal, Brenda looks totally hot in a great outfit – short jean shorts, white blousy top, black scarf, and grey slouchy boots. She looks amazing. She’s watching Tabitha lead rehearsal and wig out at Annie in a hypercritical way. After the girls leave, they review the video and Tabitha realizes she’s being a bitch. Well done, Brenda.

At the Peach Pit, where everyone is all the time now, Dixon learns from Porsche-owner that he needs the money this week and plans to work extra shifts for the money. Annie is putting back the Dr. Pepper’s while waiting to meet Ethan, who is now 30 minutes late because he’s off on project mistress confrontation. In comes Ty, of course, because everyone has to visit the Pit at least once a day I guess, who sees Annie and totally knows she’s been stood up. Annie calls herself a “ginormous idiot” which did make her seem authentically Midwestern and out of place. Dixon tells her that Ethan had his chance, she should get the guy who wants her now.

Back at school, Brenda is listening to teacher play guitar. Unclear why. Brenda still looks awesome. Teacher is trying to get details about Kelly and her babydaddy and an uncharacteristically mature Brenda flat out refuses to discuss it and tells him if he has questions, he should ask Kelly. All she says is that they had a “long history.” Look at grown up Brenda!

Naomi and Ethan arrive at mistress boutique. Naomi has put on a gorgeous black leather collarless jacket that covers up the atrocious parts of her outfit and she now actually looks quite good. I’m confused. Blah blah long relationship we’re in love mistress is living in the beach house – did you know that Naomi is a sad little rich girl? I did not. They give us a commercial break to process this news.

Back at the Pit, Dixon and Silver are flirting while bonding over their non-fitting-in-ness – Silver’s by design, Dixon courtesy of his race and adoption. Hmm – that seems a bit different. They don’t care and she asks him when he’s going to ask her out. That assertive lady!

Tabitha, at home, tells Annie she’s quitting the play. She makes up reasons why, but it’s clear that she doesn’t want to get in Annie’s way. Jessica Walter is such a better actress than anyone else on this show and everyone in scenes with her just looks bad. Let’s have more of her please.

Naomi tells her mom about how serious mistress is and mom crumples, clearly hurt by either the news or Naomi’s new outfit of a white bustier with red short shorts.

Silver and Dixon in class in a scene existing only to give Silver a chance to wear a really cute outfit of a black vest with a very high funnel collar and red leggings. Oh Dixon did bad on a test or something. Who cares.

In the halls, Ethan apologizes to Annie for standing her up, but Annie blows him off to run after Ty and ask him to go to Sea Wolf at Spaceland and I just wish they’d give me some clue in what city this is all taking place! Ty blows Annie off hard core and I cheer.

Teacher checks with Kelly about the potential date, telling her that he’s concerned that Kelly still has “unfinished business” with her son’s father. First of all, how is that any of teacher’s business? Why can’t he just talk to Kelly about it and hear what she has to say? Brenda totally didn’t say anything that gave him conclusive proof. Kelly learns he talked to Brenda about her and stalks off to confront Brenda in the parking lot. Brenda tells Kelly she should get her stories straight about dad, the delightfully underhanded bitchy thing that Brenda would totally stay. Kelly dismisses her feelings for dad because “he’s not here!” And then Brenda spills that it’s Dylan. Of course. As much as I would have loved a Jake Hansen baby, it seemed unlikely. And Kelly was always better with Dylan than with Brandon. I am kind of annoyed that Brenda doesn’t get to get back together with Dylan, though, because they were always my favorite couple. Let Kelly find some other man! Dylan and Brenda forever!!! Anyway, I’m excited to see how this plays out, partly to learn what Dylan’s up to now other than nondescript good works, and partly to see what Luke Perry’s face looks like these days. I feel like he hasn’t aged very well.

After commercial, we tie up some way less interesting storylines. Dad comes to the Pit to scold Dixon about his incomplete test and Dixon spills the news about the car accident. Dad agrees to pay the money now and Dixon can pay him back. Wow how boring.

Dixon pays the guy at school, who invites him to the Lakers with courtside tickets. Silver can’t believe that Dixon hit the guys car and now they’re friends and Dixon says something stupid about guys not holding grudges but girls doing so. Silver applies this wild generalization to herself and goes to tell Naomi that she won’t post about Naomi’s family problems on the blog. Again, boring.

Annie has baked Ty snickerdoodles and instead of taking them and laughing at her with all his friends, Ty actually agrees to go out with her again. He even calls her “frickin’ adorable.” They kiss. I fall asleep.

And then Ethan agrees to get back together for Naomi for no discernable reason – first thing in the episode, he assured Naomi and Annie that he wouldn’t do this, and then after the autistic brother incident and mission mistress confrontation, he’s totally changed his mind? This makes no sense and must be attributed to the mysterious bubble in which the two apparently live. BORED.